The sun is ablaze.
The days are longer.
And along with the undeniable joys of summer comes the not-so-subtle pressure to “get beach ready.” *Rolling eyes*
Scrolling through social media, I’m bombarded with intense workout routines and “summer body” challenges.
But here’s the thing: somewhere along the way, we’ve internalised a narrow definition of what it means to look acceptable in the summer sun.
We forget that the true gatekeepers of our confidence aren’t airbrushed magazine covers or unrealistic expectations, but ourselves (*exceptions apply to those living in truly oppressive cultures. Don’t try this in Iran).
I know many of you reading this intellectually know that “every body is a beach body”, but don’t really believe that about yourself.
It’s time to break free from that narrative and reclaim summer for what it truly is: a season to shake of seasonal depression, do fun things, spend time with those we love.
And we can’t really do that fully if we’re worried about our bodies, can we?
Take it from me.
I was once a body-image worrier, but now I’m a body-confidence warrior.
Here are 3 steps to really feeling the statement “every body is a beach body”.
So, I like to know where the hell the inexplicable things that we take for granted today come from.
Like, why on Earth we’re all trying to get “snatched” or have a “summer glow-up” to impress people we don’t even know.
Here’s what I’ve come up with so far, but feel free to leave some of your ideas in the comments.
The Wife Prize
For centuries, societal expectations dictated that a woman’s ultimate goal was marriage.
This ingrained mindset limited women’s aspirations, making a husband the pinnacle of their life’s achievements.
Unfortunately, this also meant conforming to a specific, male-approved ideal.
Throughout history, this “ideal woman” has been defined by various physical attributes, creating immense pressure to fit a mold that often conflicted with natural health or personal desires.
From the plump figures favored during the Renaissance to the corseted waists of the Victorian era, women were expected to manipulate their bodies to fit the current “wife prize” image.
And I see the modern version of it now, playing out on social media and dating apps.
Perhaps the goal is not a husband anymore. Perhaps its likes, attention, and acceptance.
But the origins are the same, whereas what we’re ascribing to, isn’t.
Inconsistent Beauty Ideals
Not only are we trying to fit a preset of what is “beautiful”, but that preset is constantly changing!
Ancient Greece preferred athletic builds, while the Middle Ages favored pale skin and flowing, unbound hair.
The Victorian era championed a fragile, doll-like figure, while the 20th century saw a shift towards curves and a more “glamorous” look.
Don’t even start me on how we went from emaciated models in the 90s to the big-butted Kardashian movement we’re currently in.
It honestly beggars belief.
On top of that, there have been groups of people who have been consistently excluded from all of this because their beauty was not recognised.
Yup, I’m talking black and indigenous people who have not even been part of this beauty rat race because we were considered a bit sub-human to participate.
I digress.
What I’m getting at is that this constant change highlights the arbitrary nature of beauty standards.
If you’re not careful, you could end up spending your life reshaping yourself to chase a moving target, never quite reaching the ever-evolving ideal. (Sounds expensive!)
Needless to say that this inconsistency leaves women feeling perpetually inadequate.
Fake News Media
Of course I was going to come after the media!
Traditional media and advertising have become masters of manipulation, shoving unrealistic body types down our throats for decades!
Through airbrushing, clever camera angles, and carefully chosen models, magazines showcase flawless women who often represent a tiny fraction of the population.
Television bombards us with celebrities who have access to personal trainers, stylists, and cosmetic procedures.
And in the case of most, like the Kardashians, we hardly ever see them before their “glam” is done.
This curated perfection creates a false reality, making it easy to develop a distorted perception of what a “normal” woman’s body should look like.
And for black and brown people, it’s even worse, because there were hardly any representations for us to look up to. It was as though we were invisible!
(Look at any teen movie from the early 2000s. All white casts. Maybe a token black side kick).
This media mirage breeds feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, fueling the pressure to conform to a standard that’s simply unattainable for most.
How to Kill Body Confidence: A Case Study on Social Media
As if striving to match the unrealistic ideals of beauty wasn’t bad enough back in the day (I’m looking at you, eyebrow-less Mona Lisa!), social media has thrown gasoline on the fire.
Today, perfectly curated online personas with flawless features and filtered physiques bombard us constantly.
It’s a hyper-accelerated version of the pressure to conform, leaving us comparing ourselves to unrealistic portrayals of our own contemporaries.
Altered Reality
Social media has become a breeding ground for unrealistic beauty standards, fueled heavily by the rampant use of filters and editing tools.
Platforms allow users to reshape their jawlines, smooth away blemishes, and alter body proportions with just a few taps.
The result?
A distorted perception of reality that bombards us daily.
These heavily edited images paint a picture of flawless complexions and unattainable body types, creating a false standard that most people simply cannot live up to.
This constant exposure to an airbrushed reality can warp our perception of natural beauty, making us hyper-critical of our own unedited features.
I won’t lie – many years ago, before I went on my self-development arc – I tried using these photo-editing apps. (I was unsuccessful because I’m bad with this kind of stuff and can’t be bothered to learn).
But it goes to show that anyone with a vulnerable self-esteem, even those who know that its not good for the soul, can be tempted to play the game of popularity, acceptance, and admiration.
Especially when it’s skewed so heavily in favour of those who cheat.
It’s predatory.
The Comparison Trap
The curated perfection on social media feeds directly into the “comparison trap,” a major contributor to declining body confidence, especially among young girls.
Seeing a constant stream of seemingly flawless online personas can trigger feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.
Our brains, particularly those still under development, are wired to seek social approval.
Repeated exposure to unrealistic beauty standards can lead young girls to believe their own bodies are somehow inferior.
Every Body Is A Beach Body: 3 Steps to Boost Body Confidence
Thank you for indulging my little rant.
Now here’s what you can do about it.
Acknowledge Your Inner Critic
We can’t change what we do not acknowledge.
So, the first step to body confidence is recognising the voice of your inner critic.
And realising you were not born with it. (Do you see any babies worried about their weight?)
The negative self-talk that fuels your insecurities was something you inherited over time and mistook for your own thoughts about yourself.
So, start by identifying these patterns and figuring out where they came from.
Is it a constant nitpicking of your appearance, or a voice telling you you’re “not good enough” for certain activities?
Did these voices come from societal pressures or unrealistic beauty standards you saw in the media?
Or did your caregivers or role models plant the seeds of self-doubt? (Did they critique their own bodies, yo-yo diet, or make offhand comments about their/ your weight?)
These subtle and not-so-subtle influences can shape our self-perception, no matter how hard you try to block them out.
For me, it was a long journey to even identify that I had these limiting beliefs.
That I would unconsciously stop myself from wearing swim suits in public.
Or that I felt shame about my skin colour and hair. (Thanks, post-apartheid South Africa).
But once I saw these thoughts and yanked them out of the shadows of my own subconscious, I could actually do something about changing them.
Reframe The Narrative
Reframing the narrative goes beyond telling everyone you’re an emancipated woman and going through the motions.
It’s about actively dismantling the negative self-talk playing on repeat in your head.
Gratitude exercises or affirmations might resonate with some.
But for me, the most effective approach was to write down these negative thoughts as they arose.
Things like, “I will finally wear my bikini when I hit (enter ridiculously low weight here).”
The act of bringing these thoughts to the forefront of my mind, instead of letting them simmer in the background, exposed their absurdity.
Seeing them on paper, in black and white, somehow made their falseness glaringly obvious.
By simply acknowledging and questioning these thoughts, I was able to significantly reduce the power of the inner critic.
Celebrate Yourself
Celebrate yourself!
And I don’t mean by throwing a big, vain birthday party on not-your-birthday. I mean, really celebrate yourself.
Celebrating yourself starts from the inside out.
Moving your body, through a vigorous workout or a calming yoga session, honouring its strength and potential.
Taking care of yourself through nourishing food, enough sleep, and relaxing activities. Showing your body appreciation for all it does.
Go beyond aesthetics and acknowledge the incredible feats your body accomplishes.
Its strength to carry you through life’s adventures.
Its ability to create and nurture new life.
Its remarkable resilience in adapting to different environments.
And its amazing capacity to heal itself. (I was reminded of this after my stint with postpartum depression!)
And remember to surround yourself with supportive people who cheers you on for who you are, not who you might become.
These are the people who uplift you, celebrate your unique qualities, and wouldn’t dream of trying to mold you into someone else.
In their presence, you can truly celebrate your authentic self and the incredible body that carries you through life.
Taking Back the Power
Ditch the filters and the facades, because this summer, we’re rocking authenticity!
Flaws and all, baby!
Let your weird flag fly and celebrate what makes you, you.
And plaster that sh*t all over your social media for good measure!
Because who needs to be a copycat when you can be the glorious original?
And who needs to compare themselves to anyone else when we’re all literally super unique?
There’s no point in tearing yourself (or anyone else) down when we’re all swimming in the same crap.
Besides, who has time for shame and shaming when there’s sunshine, sandcastles, and self-made confidence to be built?
So grab that swimsuit that makes you feel like a million bucks and strut your stuff.
Forget what society says – you own your beach, and you own that bod, too!
